The Empty Nest

My daughter is in Kindergarten. She's there from 9:30-3:30 every day. She loves her school and I do, too. We walk to school almost every day, and she has so many great stories to tell. Some of my mom-friends have said, "Isn't that a long time for her? Isn't it a long time for you, too?"

No and again, no.

I have invested 5 years thus far of playing, nurturing, loving, and laughing with my child. I have given and received countless blessings along the way. I have been peed on, spit up on, pooped on, cried on, bled on. I have been tickled till I'm blue, kissed till I was wet with kisses, and we have fallen asleep in each others arms. Bliss.

On the flip side, I haven't read a book that doesn't have to do with parenting in 5 years. I have gained about 30 pounds that won't come off no matter how much I jump and dance around with my Kindermusik kids every day. And I haven't had a quiet house, ever. Not for more than 10 minutes at a time. You see, 10 minutes isn't enough. An hour isn't enough. But 2-3 hours? Yeah, THAT's what I'm talking about. I can take a walk and do laundry and take care of the dishes and maybe put some pictures in a photograph album. I can call someone without interruptions, do my checkbook, and maybe get my eyebrows done. I can listen to 80's rock in the car at annoyingly high decibels and not worry about puncturing little eardrums. I can reclaim a little bit of sanity in the 2-3 hours ( of course the rest of the time is KINDERMUSIK...hel-lo!) of my day

Oh my goodness! Where have I been all this time? What happened to ME? From day one at the hospital where she was little and plump and new, to yesterday when she was playing with her sticker dolly book, I morphed into Mommy. Not Bernadette. Mommy. It's a role that I have grown to love, but in the meantime, there's a woman-beast that's churning and gurgling...saying.."I want.....to....be......FREEEEEE......." AAAAAAGHHHHH! I want to take on-line courses. I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle ( yes, I do!!). I want to call a friend and go out for coffee. I want to teach MORE classes. I want to do all of the things that make me, me besides being a great mommy. And now I can do that.

It is so important to have time for yourself. We do not have family that lives locally, so time spent apart from my child was expensive. If you have the capability to maintain even the smallest part of non-momminess, then embrace it with relish and live life to the fullest. Never lose your complete identity in mommyhood. It's only PART ofwho you are. A big part, but only a part.

I'm off to take a nice long walk. Alone.

Aahhhhhhhh.